Called, Part 2

Several years ago I was asked to mentor four young adults who had been approved as certified candidates for ministry by their local church. I had been invited to help them as they prepared to go before DCOM and continue their pursuit of ordained ministry within the United Methodist Church. It was truly a joy to work with these men and women who were answering God’s call on their lives.

I vividly remember one young man who had just started seminary. He was so full of the Spirit! He was a life-long Methodist who had actively served in his church all his life. His fruitfulness was already evident, his passion for Christ was clear, and his desire to serve God’s Church was sincere.

I am sure he would be ordained today if it were not for the fact that he is gay. His calling by God was so strong that he was willing to remain celibate so he could serve God in the United Methodist Church.[1] But the DCOM said no. The Church said no. The Church told him: No matter how clear God’s calling is in your life – no matter how fruitful your ministry has already been – you cannot be ordained. Sadly, he dropped out of the candidacy program and he dropped out of seminary.

This young man is so faithful to the United Methodist Church. Today he still serves in his local church as a lay person. He continues to do great work for God. But I wonder about all the other young people who feel called by God and say nothing to anyone because of their sexual orientation. I wonder about those who leave their home churches to pursue ordination in a different denomination, or who simply leave the church altogether.

I am thankful for my time with this young man because he forced me to recognize my personal fears and biases. I had to wrestle with my own understanding of Scripture and Tradition. My experience with him led me to spend much time in prayer. I wondered: When God’s calling is so evident, who am I to say no? Who are we to say no?

If God is calling a person to ordained ministry, it is good for the Church to verify that calling. If the Church sees a clear calling in someone’s life, the fruits of that calling are abundantly evident, and a person meets all of the other requirements for ordination, should gender, race, ethnicity, sexual orientation, disability, or any other distinguishing marker keep a person from answering God’s call?

---

[1] Our Book of Discipline requires “celibacy in singleness and faithfulness in marriage” for all ordained clergy. As someone who could not be married, he chose to be celibate.

Called, Part 1

In the United Methodist Church, a calling to ministry starts in the local church. Once a congregation has affirmed a clear call to ministry in a person, he or she becomes a certified candidate and moves to the district level where the District Committee on Ordained Ministry (DCOM) asks probing questions and looks for fruitfulness in ministry. Candidates who are approved by DCOM move on to the conference level and the Board of Ordained Ministry (BOOM) where the questions are more challenging, the requirements more stringent, and fruitfulness must be clearly evident.

I had graduated from seminary and been approved by DCOM when I was appointed as the pastor at Saxapahaw United Methodist Church in 2010. I was ordained in 2014, following four years of theological reflection with colleagues, hours upon hours of reading and writing (and re-writing) papers, and the daily work of prayer, reflection, and spiritual growth.

The reason I share this background information is because one of the questions before us as we explore the future of the United Methodist Church has to do with ordination.  I’m ordained today, as a woman, because in 1956, after decades of disagreements, The Methodist Church granted full clergy rights to women. Sadly, even now, 63 years later, many local Methodist churches struggle to accept that God could call a woman to ordained ministry.

I’m thankful for the men, both clergy and lay, who looked past gender back in 1956 and affirmed a woman’s call to ordination. I also recognize that there are still many denominations – from the Roman Catholic Church to the Southern Baptist Convention – that still do not affirm the ordination of women. They turn to scriptures like 1 Corinthians 14:33 which says, “Women should be silent in the churches,” to support their position.

As Methodists, while we affirm the authority of Scripture, we also know that texts like this one were written in a particular time and place to address a particular situation. So we turn to the Wesleyan Quadrilateral, reading Scripture through a broad lens and balancing our understanding of Scripture with Tradition, Experience, and Reason.

This practice led to the ordination of women in 1956. Today I wonder if it isn’t time for us to use this same practice to look past sexual orientation and affirm that God calls people from all walks of life to ordination.

Humpty Dumpty

July 3, 2019

I feel like I’ve been dropped, like an egg. Cracked open. Messy. And it isn’t just me. It is the United Methodist Church that I love. Pieces everywhere. Like Humpty Dumpty, all the king’s horses and all the king’s men will not be able to put us back together again. And I wonder what is next.

On the one hand, I am delighted that Annual Conferences across the Southeast have spoken boldly against the Traditional Plan. Forty-one of forty-two delegates from the North Carolina Conference are progressives and centrists. We have clearly voted to affirm our belief that Christ’s Table is open to all. We have maintained our conviction that our diversity makes us stronger. We are unified in our belief that the hurtful language around homosexuality in the Book of Discipline needs to be removed. I praise God for this as we now wait and see what will happen at General Conference 2020.

On the other hand, I stepped out of a session of Annual Conference for just a few minutes and saw a colleague of mine talking with two other colleagues. This particular pastor played an important role in shaping my understanding of small group ministries. Years ago he led a workshop that prompted me to visit his church and see his small groups in action. We spoke on several occasions as he shared his knowledge and ideas. His passion for Jesus Christ was evident and I learned a great deal from him. But he didn’t acknowledge me at Annual Conference. I could see the pain on his face – the voting was not going the way he wanted it to. Seeing him made my heart ache. It reminded me of the pain I felt when General Conference 2019 embraced the Traditional Plan. Broken. Cracked open. In pieces on the floor.

John Wesley stated in his General Rules, “First, do no harm.” Well, harm has been done to all. We’ve created winners and losers instead of one body. We have taken steps that will divide us. As I continue to share stories and raise questions, I wonder: How is God inviting us to reach out to those who interpret scripture differently from us? How is God calling us to move forward faithfully, as individuals and as a congregation? How is God working in us to pick up the pieces and create something new?

Consensus

June 11, 2019

Annual Conference starts tomorrow. For the next four days Mel Hansen-Holloway and I will be representing Saxapahaw United Methodist Church as we worship, fellowship and conduct the business of the Conference. The business includes adopting future goals, programs and budgets, ordaining clergy, and sharing stories.

Every four years the business also includes voting for General Conference delegates – work we will be doing this year. This is always difficult, but this year it feels especially painful. I have two lists: one includes the names of those clergy and laity who are “fully vetted evangelicals who are in full support of the Traditional Plan;” the other includes the names of those who “believe the Traditional Plan does not reflect the future God desires for us as the body of Christ.” Both lists include people I love and respect – people who deeply love God and live lives of faithful discipleship – people who are kingdom builders. And yet we remain deeply divided on the issue of homosexuality.

Last week our Church Council met to reflect on the things we, as the leadership of the congregation, can all agree on. It quickly became clear that we all long to know Christ and make Christ known, and we long to do this together – embracing our diversity and recognizing that our differences make us stronger. We acknowledged our fear of change and our fear of losing people we love.  We also agreed that we would much rather work toward consensus than take a vote.

Consensus building is based on both participation of all stakeholders and ownership of decisions. It is up to the stakeholders – that means you! – to participate. Consensus is reached when every voice has been heard, every effort has been made to find common ground, and everyone agrees that they can live with whatever is proposed. This is much harder than voting. It also feels so much more faithful.

So I ask: Will you commit to praying for our Annual Conference and for our congregation as we seek to be faithful to the One who loves us and calls us friend?

New Saplings

June 7, 2019

Just a few weeks ago (May 20 – 22, 2019) over 600 United Methodists from Annual Conferences across the United States gathered in Kansas City at Church of the Resurrection[1] for a three-day conference called UMCNext. All of those who gathered were united in their opposition to the Traditional Plan, which retains the church stance that the practice of homosexuality is “incompatible with Christian teaching” and strengthens enforcement of church bans on same-sex weddings and “self-avowed practicing” gay clergy.

The participants who gathered agreed to four commitments:

• To be passionate followers of Jesus Christ, committed to a Wesleyan vision of Christianity.
• To resist evil, injustice and oppression in all forms and toward all people and build a church which affirms the full participation of all ages, nations, races, classes, cultures, gender identities, sexual orientations and abilities.[2]
• To reject the Traditional Plan approved at General Conference 2019 as inconsistent with the gospel of Jesus Christ and resist its implementation.
• To work to eliminate discriminatory language and the restrictions and penalties in the Book of Discipline regarding LGBTQ individuals.

This meeting is just one of many similar meetings that are happening across the United Methodist Church as we seek a faithful way forward. I admit that I was hoping for something more than these four commitments. I’m ready for some clarity. I want a plan.

Rev. Tyler Sit, the openly gay founding pastor of New City Church in Minneapolis, and a participant in the UMCNext Conference, likened what happened at the 2019 special General Conference to a giant, old tree that has fallen in a forest, leading to new saplings starting to grow and reach for the light.[3] I love this image of new life coming out of death and decay – it is so full of hope and promise. It also helps me recognize that is too soon to know which of these new saplings will end up thriving – and it may be more than one! So for now we need to nurture all of them, trusting the Holy Spirit to work in us and through us and even in spite of us to show us the faithful way forward.

---

[1] Adam Hamilton is the lead pastor at Church of the Resurrection, which is the largest United Methodist Church in the United States. Over the years many of us have read books and participated in studies he has written.

[2] If this language sounds familiar it is because these words are very similar to our baptismal vows.

[3] You can learn more about the conference at https://www.umnews.org/en/news/planning-new-directions-for-the-church

The Ostrich

May 31, 2019

 

I was speaking with a dear friend of mine recently who grew up in the Episcopal Church and was very active in her local congregation when dialogue around LGBTQ issues reached a breaking point. We were talking about how uncomfortable these conversations can be and she freely admitted that she stuck her head in the sand, like an ostrich, trusting that the leadership would make the right decision.  When the decision was made and she pulled her head up out of the sand, she discovered that her congregation had chosen the more conservative Anglican Communion. Her own faith journey had led her to a place where she believed in God’s radical inclusion of all people through Jesus Christ and she found herself without a church home.

I share this story because I have this deep sense that many of us just want to stick our heads in the sand, trusting in the leadership of the church. Many of us would rather take a “wait and see” stance instead of doing the difficult work of wrestling with the breadth of scripture and listening closely for the voice of God. Many of us would prefer simple answers and a clear path forward.

But following Jesus has never been simple. Jesus routinely takes us places we would rather not go and calls us to a faith that can move mountains. Jesus calls us to leave our nets and the comforts of home and follow him.

Over the next few months I hope to share news and stories that will help us ask difficult questions, confront our fears, and grow in our knowledge and love of God as we seek to be faithful disciples of Jesus Christ in today’s world.

The Choice

Based on Isaiah 55.

You are invited.

Come to the feast –

drink in the goodness

eat your fill

be satisfied.

No money needed –

            Just you.

You are invited

just as you are.

On the fence?

Look around.

The world promises

            abundance

            happiness

            satisfaction

            life

And we buy it.

We spend our money.

And we keep spending...

            hoping for more.

There is never enough

            money

            time

            love.

The world’s promises

            do not satisfy.

We still feel

            empty

            inadequate

            malnourished

            dead.

There must be more.

You are invited.

Come and eat what is good –

            Delightful!

Listen carefully. Find           

integrity

goodness

life-nourishing words.

Find Love.

God promises

            sure, solid, enduring love.

There is rich food here –

food for the body

food for the mind

food for the soul

God is here. Emmanuel –

God with us.

Return to the Lord

            choose the feast.

Come as you are. Find

            forgiveness

            community

            grace.

Seem too good to be true?

God’s ways

            are not our ways.

God’s thoughts

            are not our thoughts.

God abundantly pardons.

God fills us with good things.

God loves us.

You are invited.

You are welcome

            at this table.

So come.

The Elephant

How do we name the elephant in the room? I suppose the first step is to have the courage to walk into the room. Right now it feels like I’m in the room all by myself. With the elephant, of course. And there it is, just staring at me with its tiny dark eyes, watching my every move. Maybe it is wondering, just like I am, what I am going to do.

Time passes. The silence is deafening.

And then a friend comes in and I am so thankful for the company. I know my friend can see the elephant, but she chooses to walk around it, acting like it isn’t there. We talk. About health. About work. About life. We even laugh. And then she leaves.

And the elephant is still there. The one we both ignored.

Another friend comes in. This time I am anxious because I know we need to name the elephant, but I fear she, too, will ignore it. Instead she acknowledges that she heard about the elephant and she stops and looks at it for a minute and then turns uncomfortably away.

I thank her for visiting. I am glad for the company. But the elephant is still there.

“Okay, God. I need your help. There is an elephant in the room and no one is talking about it! What am I supposed to do?”

Silence. But this time the silence is different. God is there. I am not alone.

Slowly the answer comes – in the form of a question. Why is it that God so often answers my questions with a question? “Why aren’t you talking about it?”

Honestly: “I don’t know where to begin.”

And then I am reminded of the parable of the four blind men and the elephant. Each blind man describes the one part of the elephant that he touches. Based on their limited experience of the elephant their descriptions are vastly different from one another. The tusk feels nothing like the tail; the ear feels nothing like the foot.

And God says, “Begin with what you feel.”

“Okay...”

I feel like I’ve been blindsided. I feel hurt. I feel uncertain. I feel afraid. I feel so very vulnerable. And, in all honesty, I feel shame. How could I have been so naive?

I feel like we need to talk about the elephant in the room, even though it is painful and so very uncomfortable. And more than that, I need you to support me, even if we disagree about what we see and feel. I’m tired of arguing. I just want to know that I am loved.

And God says, “So do they.”

"Duh."

So here is the invitation: Need to talk about the elephant in the room? If so, come in. Or invite me out, if that is more comfortable. It might be easier if the elephant isn’t staring at us. Let’s talk. Begin with what you feel. I’ll do my best to listen. And maybe, together, with time, we can figure out what to do about the elephant.